The
Best Tool for Getting Answers
When they
talk about who is the best Late Night Television Host, I laugh, because in my
opinion there has never been anyone who compares to the late Johnny Carson. I know
that if you are under 30 years old you may not know who I am talking about, but
you should go back and watch some of the episodes of the old Tonight show. There
was a down home quality to the way Carson approached his guests. But the best
talent Carson had was the ability to get his guests to answer questions that
they really were uncomfortable with. How did he do it?
He had the great ability
to ask a question and just sit there silent and just stare at the guest until
the question was answered. The silence made the guest so uncomfortable that
they would say anything just to break the silence.
The tool of silence
is something we all have but seldom use. The reason we don’t use silence as a
tool, is that we are no different than the Guest on the Tonight Show. Silence
makes us uncomfortable. When we ask a question and there is dead air, we get
nervous we are losing our audience. But the truth is that our audience may
just be thinking about what we just said. What may seem like a long pause, may
just be a few seconds.
I know that I have a terrible time with silence on the
phone. Since I can’t see my audience I often talk too quickly and cut off the
response. Talking slowly and waiting for a response will get you a much better
reaction from your audience then trying to cram your audience with all your
thoughts at once. You audience has to wonder, if you cut them off, do you
really want to hear their answer, or just tell them what you think.
When I watch
a news show and the host ask their guest a question, then before the guest gets
out a full sentence the host cuts them off. It drives me crazy, especially if I
really want to hear the answer. What good does it do to ask a question and then
not let the other person answer? You learn nothing if you don’t listen, and you
lose your audience if you don’t give them a chance to think about your question
and give you a response.
I remember
that when I was training to become a Realtor, the manager at the time told me
that when you are negotiating with someone, the first person that talks loses.
He was so right, and that advice works. The first time I learned this for
myself, was when I was trying to negotiate a deal for a condo. The Realtor
rejected my offer, and instead of me coming back with another offer, I just
told my clients to wait. In a few hours I received a call from the other
realtor and the deal was accepted. My silence made the other side nervous. As
soon as they made the call to me, they lost. In the book, “The art of the deal”
by Donald Trump, he says that in order to get the deal you want; you must be
able to walk away from the deal. That is a form of silence.
Silence is a
great tool that is very rarely used. In society today we talk too much. I know
I do.